Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Marian on Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:50 am

Thanks Jonathan I have subscribed to the site. I am looking forward to the stimulation. :D
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Marian on Wed Sep 23, 2009 3:59 am

Hi Andrea, Ben and all,

Be impeccable with your word.

I find this one a bit scarey. I've spent 20 odd years working towards allowing myself to express words without having to think through the consequences. I guess it's all a matter of balance at the end of the day. Impeccable feels a bit heavy to me. I used to find myself surrounded by people who never gave a second thought to what was coming out of their mouths. Personally I have gained a sense of freedom by saying what I need to say. Of course I do not mean that I go around insensitively hurting others, but I do say what I need to say to protect myself.

Cheers
Marian
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Ben on Thu Sep 24, 2009 10:33 pm

Thought I'd write a bit on the subject of being 'impeccable with your word' since the shedding of the skin called dishonesty is involved here. And thanks everyone for their contributions in this interesting and fun subject.

'Be impeccable with your word' for me is being honest to the best of my ability in the things I say and do while coming from a place of integrity, and having said that when I look back in hindsight I sometimes realize I maybe could've done better but that is ok too. I can work on that and hopefully do a better job next time.

I'm not wanting to be boringly perfect, if that is even possible, but mainly to express the content of the words effectively. Recently I recieved a group of emails from someone who was picking holes in a series of emails I had sent prior, he picked all the spelling mistakes, misplaced comma's and what he thought were inapropriate words, he took much of what I wrote out of context and made it into something else, he was using his perfectionism. So I don't want to be perfect. I emailed him back to explain what I meant and he replies he knew what I meant from the beginning. I wonder why did he make a fuss and I put it down partly to boring old perfectionism.

Many of us have been brought up to make up excuses for this and that, how often I would hear advice being given to other people and often from people many years our senior to " just say this and that to so and so", and none of this advice was ever the truth. In other words many of us have been brought up to lie, thinking we'll get through life easier. Most people when discussing things with others often make up fictional counter-moves to protect their or the others ego, they rarely touch on the truth. This comes so naturally to many people that to be impeccable with their word would entail a major life change. The filters of dishonesty are prevalent because to move beyond these filters takes courage, and first, one has to reconize them.

I have found that being silent is often a better choice than speaking. Silence I have found is also at times an excellent choice for protection against others ego's and in a sense our own ego's. I find the older I get the less I talk, this often entails to just let people be. It has truly been a rare moment in life for me where one's heart connects with another in conversation where both or all parties could hear and take in each others words. So I believe silence is often a good option. In a sense silencing the word at the right time is being impeccable with it. I often sing the word HU while in these silent times, (pronounced hugh), a sanskrit word I believe, it is difficult to be any more impeccable with the word than this. Life has proven for me that this is the most powerful word I use that has been given me.

I suppose 'impeccable' does sound heavy and I have also met others who have said the same but when I read the Masters writings, that is what they are doing, being impeccable with their word, they give one the sense that they are living the word to a much higher degree than the rest of us or they 'are' the living word, their word is vibrant and alive.

Looking in the book by the author that wrote this word 'impeccable', he gives us the meaning of the word for him.

Impeccability means "without sin". Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means "sin". The im in impeccable means "without," so impeccable means "without sin". Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let's understand what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do that goes against yourself. Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. You go against yourself when you judge or blame yourself for anything. Being without sin is exactly the opposite. Being impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable you take responsibilities for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself. by Don Miguel Ruiz.

He goes on to say something like, "using the word against others is using it against yourself ."

He continues on how to measure the impeccability of your word.

You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Don Miguel Ruiz.

He says this is the most difficult agreement to honor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Thanks for your posts Andrea, you fill in a lot of spaces I miss. Stop beating myself up was probably one the first steps in succeeding in not taking things personally. I notice also what you say about getting glimpses of the light and sound and then the next piece of karma comes along for us to work on. This seems to brings us down from the mountaintop and at these times I like to think the mountaintop is close by and I will be going there once again. It certainly is not forgotten, a peice of the mountaintop stays with me. I actually found Michael Newton's book on my bookshelf and noticed on the back cover the following words by someone.

--- After reading Journey of Souls, you will gain a better understanding of the immortality of the human soul.....and you will meet day to day personal challenges with a greater sense of purpose as you begin to understand the reasons behind events in your own life. By unknown.

The above words is what i got from reading Brian Aldiss, a similar type book. These types of books can be very helpful for people along their journey home.

Cheers Ben
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Ben on Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:10 am

Sorry, I got the name wrong in the above post of the author who writes similar books to Michael Newton. His name is Brian Weiss and not Brian Aldiss. It certainly is good to not wanting to be perfect, mistakes become a part of life as they're supposed to be. Cheers, Ben.
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Marian on Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:23 am

You can measure the impeccability of your word by your level of self-love. How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word you feel good; you feel happy and at peace. Don Miguel Ruiz.

He says this is the most difficult agreement to honor.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi Ben,

Yes I would agree with the above. It seems to me - that the more I am true to myself (whatever action or non-action involved), the more peace and happiness I gain.

May the blessings be

Marian
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby andrea on Fri Sep 25, 2009 11:45 pm

“Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary”. A bit less ominous sounding than impeccable. And if something doesn’t improve the silence then I think maybe in silence is the best way to be. Silence can be very uncomfortable for some but it can be a good way of protecting ourselves by not feeding energy to and allowing the negative into our lives. As long as the silence is with integrity and one is not seething on the inside. Our thoughts are as important as our words so letting go of those assumptions and not taking something someone said personally will make room for that silence in the inner and leave space for more thoughtful , kind , ethical and , loving words to form our responses.
Taking a deep breath or two or three before responding is definitely not wasting time. Even in an emergency it is best to respond in a grounded, thoughtful way. The time and energy consumed trying to recover from a sharp reactive response is much harder for everyone to deal with, than the time and energy put into those couple of deep breaths and thoughtful reflection. With practice the thoughtful reflective response which may include silence becomes much easier, quicker and natural.
I have had to do my practice with this and still do have to remind myself. I started by trying to be patient and waiting, I would just really want to react and say something and knew that it wasn’t true or kind but I really figured it was necessary and I just really wanted to say it .But after waiting I would realize that sometimes I would actually forget about the issue and the big issue at the time was now reduced in size and energy to being a non-issue. If I had chosen to go with my initial reaction, the issue would have been blown out of proportion for no particularly good reason. I know I shed some skin on that

Another good book for helping us on our journey home is, “Essential Spirituality: the 7 central practices to awaken heart and mind” by Roger Walsh. Exercises from the world’s religions to cultivate kindness, love, joy, peace, vision, wisdom, and generosity. Very inspiring, like this dialogue on “Shedding Skin”.

Andrea
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Ben on Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:36 am

Thanks Marion, I really hadn't put much thought into what "being impeccable with your word" had meant to me until I wrote the above post. It was one of those four agreements I had neglected a bit more than the others. I was sought of learning as i was writing. I feel I have learnt more in reading your short post that followed, funny how it works.

And may the blessings be to you too. Ben.
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Ben on Sat Sep 26, 2009 4:46 am

Hi Andrea, your posts are very encouraging for me. In a way in saying how it is for you is giving deeper meaning for how it is for me. I feel I have met a fellow spirit, actually I feel that with all the posters here. It is good to have someone who is travelling a similar path to say how it is for them. I also notice the four agreements are starting to come to-gether.

Your words here are so true, I have experienced this many times---------

"I have had to do my practice with this and still do have to remind myself. I started by trying to be patient and waiting, I would just really want to react and say something and knew that it wasn’t true or kind but I really figured it was necessary and I just really wanted to say it .But after waiting I would realize that sometimes I would actually forget about the issue and the big issue at the time was now reduced in size and energy to being a non-issue. If I had chosen to go with my initial reaction, the issue would have been blown out of proportion for no particularly good reason. I know I shed some skin on that." by Andrea.

I will check out the book you mentioned, it looks like the coincidences on the books we both have stops here. Thanks so much for your valuable tips and insights.

Cheers. Ben.
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby Marian on Mon Sep 28, 2009 4:24 am

Hi Ben and Andrea,
Great to be corresponding with you both. I think you have both hit the nail on the head. Below really says a lot to me and it is not easy to decide whether to speak or not..........
As long as the silence is with integrity and one is not seething on the inside.


Love
Marian
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Re: Shedding Skin - by Doug Marman

Postby andrea on Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:49 am

Hi Ben and all
Yes it is nice to meet fellow travelers, seekers. The sharing of the stories of my experience, with someone on a similar path has been really helpful to me in helping to open myself up to new insights. Telling the little stories that make up our lives experience is so valuable. I would read one of your stories and your interpretation and it would bring up an experience of my own and with it an opening to a new level of understanding of my own experience that I could not access earlier because of the filters I saw it thru.

When I first started reading the stories in Harold Klemps books I thought, “ these stories are so simple and not important.” But as I learned to read them slower, one at a time, take time to contemplate on them, not be critical and let go of expectations of how they should end, in other words read them with an open mind and patience. Then they started to have much more meaning for me and I opened up to the lessons they held for me.

The same for daily experiences. And as I give value to all the little things that happen it is easier to reflect on how I am applying and have applied the four agreements during my day. Then I find that more often I am choosing how I respond to life’s situations instead of being run by them. With this higher level of awareness the filters that pop up out of the past when I am acting unconsciously are not given a place in the present .

Andrea
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